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By the Seat of My Pants

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Writer's Block: Wardrobe Malfunction May. 8th, 2009 @ 05:28 pm

Broken zippers, split seams, straps that come untied at the most embarrassing moment possible—what's your most memorable experience with an unexpected wardrobe malfunction?


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Christmas the year my youngest daughter was born was a pretty chaotic holiday. There were easily 20 people at the Christmas eve present exchange party. And, my then two-year-old daughter Alex had just learned the wonders of opening presents, and was tearing open every gift that came near her, whether it was for her or someone else.

So, when I got all of the presents home and saw the very pretty charcoal gray silk cardigan folded up in one of my bags, I just thought that it was a present of mine that Allie had opened without me seeing it. It was just my size, very soft, and looked great on. The biggest dilemma was that I couldn't find a single card that might explain who had given it to me.

I wore it to Christmas dinner the next night, planning to ask a couple of relatives if they were the one who purchased it.

When my ex's mother arrived, I asked her, "Geneva, did you get me this sweater?"

She squinted and looked closely.

Then, four things happened in rapid succession:

- Andy walked up and handed me the baby
- the baby spit up milk all down the front of the sweater and my dress
- Geneva said, "Isn't that Sue's sweater?"
- the front door opened, and Sue and her husband walked in

So, not only did I accidentally steal Sue's new sweater, I returned it to her covered in fresh baby puke.

I did pay the dry-cleaning bill.


Writer's Block: Last Twenty Bucks Feb. 19th, 2008 @ 04:45 pm

List three things you'd buy with your last $20. One practical, one frivolous and one of your choosing.


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Six pack of decent beer(AmberBock or Yeungling, about $6, Frivolous)
1 pound bag of lentils (practical - 89 cents)
I'd spend the other $13 on stuff I could turn around on eBay to get my next $20.

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