By the Seat of My Pants

Writer's Block: Wardrobe Malfunction

2009-05-08T21:37:30Z

Broken zippers, split seams, straps that come untied at the most embarrassing moment possible—what's your most memorable experience with an unexpected wardrobe malfunction?

View other answers

Christmas the year my youngest daughter was born was a pretty chaotic holiday. There were easily 20 people at the Christmas eve present exchange party. And, my then two-year-old daughter Alex had just learned the wonders of opening presents, and was tearing open every gift that came near her, whether it was for her or someone else.

So, when I got all of the presents home and saw the very pretty charcoal gray silk cardigan folded up in one of my bags, I just thought that it was a present of mine that Allie had opened without me seeing it. It was just my size, very soft, and looked great on. The biggest dilemma was that I couldn't find a single card that might explain who had given it to me.

I wore it to Christmas dinner the next night, planning to ask a couple of relatives if they were the one who purchased it.

When my ex's mother arrived, I asked her, "Geneva, did you get me this sweater?"

She squinted and looked closely.

Then, four things happened in rapid succession:

- Andy walked up and handed me the baby
- the baby spit up milk all down the front of the sweater and my dress
- Geneva said, "Isn't that Sue's sweater?"
- the front door opened, and Sue and her husband walked in

So, not only did I accidentally steal Sue's new sweater, I returned it to her covered in fresh baby puke.

I did pay the dry-cleaning bill.

Help my friend out

2009-05-01T16:17:58Z

Hey all-

A friend of mine who working on creating a job doing viral stuff online is trying to prove a point to a client.

Can you visit an LJ post of hers and leave a comment, any comment?

http://chaoticerotic.livejournal.com/1438704.html

Also, would be thrilled if you'd repost the link for her. Thanks!

I :Heart: Florida

2009-04-25T16:04:22Z

Blargh...

Around 3:00 am, a weird rustling sound woke me up. I had the window open, and was still trying to figure out whether it was inside or outside when I felt something under the blankets crawling on my leg.

I yelped, which woke Simon, and we both jumped out of bed.

I pulled off the covers, and a two-inch long palmetto bug flew out. While I was looking for something to smash it, I see another crawling up my wall, and a third comes out from behind the dresser.

We spent the next ten minutes breaking up the party -- those bugs are fast and hard to hit -- and, after that, had quite a hard time getting back to sleep.

Still keep getting icky-shudders every time I think of that thing under the blankets with me.

In other (only mildly interesting) news:

- I've rewatched last week's episode of "Bones" (Double Death of the Dearly Departed) three times. That so needed to be a feature-length film. I've also realized that I really like comedies about funerals.

- Took the kids to 4th Friday in Clearwater last night and had a blast. Jenna got called up to participate in one of the street magician's acts, and it made her night.

- Today, mostly lazing around during the morning. Taking the girls to Chuck E. Cheese later, since we still have a buttload of tokens left over from our last visit. Gonna play lots of Ski-Ball. If that place had decent beer available, they'd never get rid of me.

Okay, it's pure celebrate. :)

2009-04-17T18:47:27Z

Finally got through to Social Security. The error will not make a difference in benefits.

So, I can get back to celebrating Simon's first customer unencumbered, woohooo!!

Can't decide whether to panic or celebrate

2009-04-17T18:04:53Z

On the panic side...

I was looking over the Social Security forms, and discovered that they erroneously list that Allie lived with Vaughn prior to his death. This is obviously not the case. I have no idea whether that error is going to affect Allie's benefits at all, and I'd like to get this straightened out as soon as possible. I called the 800 number to correct it, and they told me I need to call the local office. I called the local office where I entered a bunch of information into the automatic system, was put on hold for several minutes... and ultimately kicked back to the original menu. I repeated the entire cycle three times before I finally hung up. I hope I'm going to be able to handle this by phone, since I really cannot spare the several hours it will take to handle this in person without an appointment.

On the celebrate side...

The reason I gave up and hung up is that Simon's business* phone was ringing, with a number on the ID that I did not recognize.

It's our first response to the flyers he's been leaving with local businesses. First customer that is not directly word of mouth. Simon is out of the house, and doesn't have a cell phone, so, I can't call him to tell him, and I am just bursting with this. We've really, really needed both good news and extra income, so, this is just fabulous.

*Oh, I haven't mentioned Simon's business, I don't think. For years, Simon has done computer repair as a sideline. After being laid off, he was worried about getting a new job, only to lose it immediately because of being sick with his digestive troubles or incapacitated by a reoccurance of the sciatica. So, he's decided that the best way to go is to push for more computer repair clients while maintaining a part-time job for a bit of extra stability.

I guess this is as good a place/time as any to pimp the business a bit. If you are in the Pinellas County area, and need your home computer serviced, or you know someone who does, give us a call at 727-242-5955 or email Simon at support@computersthatrun.com.

Meme Stolen From wldrose

2009-04-12T13:51:20Z

***********FOODOLOGY***************

1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
lemon and olive oil

2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Cesares

3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
kimchi and noodles

4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
mushrooms, artichoke hearts and sun dried tomatoes.

5.What do you like to put on your toast?
Butter and marmite

***********TECHNOLOGY***************

1. How many televisions are in your house?
1 (wait... does the one in BF's arcade machine count? if so, 2)

2. What color cell phone do you have?
silver

3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber Band?
30 seconds (btw, it ws William H Spencer)

4. Have any idea how many Megahertz your computer has?
2.2 GHz on this one

***************BIOLOGY******************

1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
appendix, wisdom teeth, a baby (cesarian)

3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
my old ugly couch (not solo)

4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
once, but only for a few seconds

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
not sure

2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
eh, happy enough with the one I have

3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
sure, why not.

************DUMBOLOGY******************

1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
None of the rubber ones that pinch your toes.

2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops.
hmmm... none in many years where I was the one in trouble.

3. Last person you talked to?
Allie

4. Last person you hugged?
Jenna

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

1. Season?
spring

2. Holiday?
halloween

3. Day of the week?
it used to be Sunday, since that was my day with Simon. Since he's started a new Sunday-only job, tho, I need to pick a new one.

4. Month?
hmm, not sure

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

1. Missing someone?
Yes

2. Mood?
eh.

3. What are you listening to
fan on my computer's cooling pad

4. Watching?
looking forward to watching Dollhouse and Dr. Who w/Simon tonight.

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

1. First place you went this morning?
kitchen

2. What's the last movie you saw?
Days of Darkness, a semi-cheesy zombie movie

3. Do you smile often?
yes

4. Sleeping Alone Tonight?
no

***************OTHER-OLOGY*****************

1. Do you always answer your phone?
No

2. Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
probably Charles, but, even he knows better; so, no one? wrong number?

3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I'm pretty happy with the color I have

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
what?

5. Do you own a digital camera?
a bunch of them

6. Have you ever had a pet fish?
we have a pet crawfish

7. Favorite Christmas song(s):
I can take or leave most of them.

8. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
I dunno

9. Can you do push ups?
yes

10. Can you do a chin up?
maybe one

11. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
excited

12. Do you have any saved texts?
a couple

13. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes

14. Do you have an accent?
no, everyone else does

15. What is the last song to make you cry?
not sure, but "Playboy Mommy" by Tori Amos usually does it

16. Plans tonight?
TV, alone with my guy, FINALLY

17. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yeah, but I try not to, since I've found that that is just when things find a creative way to get worse

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday.
chocolate, jelly beans, shrimp (not to be eaten together)

19. Have you ever been given roses?
many times

20. Current worry?
Money (leaving ash's, since I agree)

21. Current hate right now?
A couple of specific meddlesome dickheads with too much of item 20.

22. Met someone who changed your life?
Yes, a few times

23. How will you bring in the New Year
Not a clue. We usually stay in, tho, since Amateur Night is dangerous.

24. What song represents you?
Mighty Little Man, original version. Except, you know, female.

25. Name three people who might complete this?
dunno

26. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
I've always thought it'd be kind of fun (and lucrative) to be able to redo the whole dot-com boom.

27. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
had a few multi-year relationships

28. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
4 tattoos, pierced lip

29. Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
yes

30. Does anyone love you?
yes

31. Ever had someone sing to you?
Simon does it all the time. It's his cutest annoying habit.

32. When did you last cry?
not sure. I've been doing a lot of it the past couple months

33. Do you like to cuddle?
yes

34. Have you held hands with anyone today?
no

35. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
top 40, with a noisy chick music tendency: The Go-Gos, The Bangles, Cyndi Lauper, stuff like that

36. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
more old than new, these days. Really should get out more, lol

37. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
only if it's fresh squeezed. If it's from the carton, pulp-free, please

What. The. Fuck.

2009-04-03T16:17:15Z

Okay, this shit has got to stop.

I just got some bad news about another old friend. He'd always struggled with addiction, and, he O.D.'d the other night. He is in a coma, and is not expected to make it.

I am putting the universe on notice: NO MORE.

We have far exceeded our yearly quota of death, violence, job loss, illness, weird legal entanglements, and acrimonious break-ups.

Universe, no one I know had better even get something as untoward as an embarrassing and uncomfortable rash anytime soon.

QUIT IT.

msretro @ 2009-03-23T09:14:00

2009-03-23T13:25:28Z

Had an amusing conversation with a friend yesterday.

We were talking about words and phrases that annoy us, and he mentioned the tendency towards labeling anyone with a strident point of view a Nazi. You know, femi-nazis, smoking nazis, breast-feeding nazis. People who hold a perhaps authoritarian point of view but who, as far as is known, have never made anyone wear special identifying clothing, forced people to live in ghettos, and finally engaged in wholesale slaughter off the offending parties... like, you know, actual Nazis.

We moved on to another shared pet peeve, "literally." News programs in particular seem prone to misusing "literally":

Saying, "They LITERALLY threw him under the bus," when speaking of some shamed political appointee.... were he literally thrown under a bus, shouldn't the headline be something more like, "Political Figure Viciously Murdered by Raging Mob with City Bus?"

I mentioned that I've gotten my kids on the anti-literally train, and they often stridently correct people on that, sometimes when it is not appopriate to do so. They're Literally-Nazis. You know, figuratively speaking.

msretro @ 2009-03-05T16:24:00

2009-03-05T21:53:38Z

Fucking hell.

This keeps hitting me at weird angles.

This morning, Allie asked me what to do with his email. I thought she meant the ones he'd sent her, and I told her that she should print them out and save them.

She said, "No, mom, he's in my address book. What do I do with his email?"

I told her about how, when I had a friend who was on my yahoo IM die, I left him in my list, because it felt nice to see his name there.

She replied, "yeah, and I can still send him emails.... even if he can't write back."

Oh man, I can't fucking handle that.... my kid's unread emails piling up in her dead father's inbox.

And then they'll close the account, too, when he doesn't log in for so long... so an email she sends will bounce one day, and that'll be another time that this hits her in the face.

You know, I can talk to her and be all zen, and tell her how this is all natural, and part of it all; how it hurts, but that's the way it is, and it's okay.

But, then something big like that hits me, and this is NOT okay and not right, and nothing, nothing at all, can be done.

I hate this.

Do1 Thing

2009-01-12T16:59:20Z

Cool site to help people with disaster preparedness.

http://www.do1thing.us/calendar.php

OMFG. squee

2009-01-11T23:50:43Z

I haven't seen Bryan, my oldest friend, in nearly 14 years. We've managed to keep up to date on one another's lives through phone calls, email and IM through all this time. It's funny... if we still lived in the same area, we'd probably have grown apart years ago, because our lives have taken such different paths.

Well, I'm going to see him in about a week and a half!!

His girlfriend is moving to Washington DC, and he is coming along with her on the drive. They're going to swing as far south as Tallahassee, and I'll drive up to meet them there.

Simon's still suffering pretty badly, but, hopefully he'll be well enough to come with me by then. I would love for the two of them to meet.

Whhhhheeeeeeeeeeeee, mini-road trip!!

Year End Meme

2008-12-17T15:34:30Z

Where did you begin 2008?
Clearwater

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
very happily attached

Did you have to go to the hospital?
not personally; I did bring the BF to the emergency room once, though

Did you have any encounters with the police?
called them when someone was throwing rocks through my windows; I'm so glad to be out of that neighborhood

Where did you go on vacation?
mini-roadtrip through High Springs, St. Augustine, Savannah, Tallahassee and Panama Beach.

What did you purchase that was over $500?
can't think of anything

Did you know anybody who got married?
don't think so

Did you know anybody who passed away?
yes

What sporting events did you attend?
none. not a big sports fan.

What concerts/shows did you go to?
just out to see local bands a few times

Where do you live now?
Dunedin

Describe your birthday.
low key

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2008?
wow, what a dull year... can't think of anything

What has/have been your favorite moment(s)?
probably last summer's vacation

Any new additions to your family?
Tiger, the kitty who adopted us

What was your best month?
hard to pick; I've been pretty content this year

Who has been your best drinking buddy?
Simon, as always

Made new friends?
a couple

Favorite Night[s] out?
out with Simon's brother when he was in town. The Castle is actually pretty fun if you only go once or twice a year

Any regrets?
no big ones

What do you want to change in 2009?
maybe get out more; it's been a really introverted year

Overall, how would you rate this year?
about an 8

Have any life changes in 2008?
moved to Dunedin, which I should have done 13 years ago... I really love this town

Change your hairstyle?
not really... it just keeps getting longer

Get a new job?
generally the same gigs I've been on

How old did you turn this year?
35

Do you have a New Year's resolution?
naw

Did anything embarrassing?
probably

Get married or divorced?
nope

Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
never

Start a new hobby?
been (very casually and slowly) learning German

Been snowboarding?
never

Are you happy to see 2008 go?
Not really... I just started writing the year correctly on my checks only a couple of months ago!

Drank Starbucks in 2008?
not even once, I'm happy to say.

Been naughty or nice?
chaotic neutral ;)

What are you wishing for in 2009?
I'm pretty content right now

CSA - First Harvest

2008-11-19T22:01:14Z

I picked up my first farm share today.

It was the first time I saw the farm, and I have to say I was impressed. They have three greenhouses, one of which is being used to grow hydroponic lettuce, plus four good sized vegetable plots.

It was nice to finally put names to faces. I'd talked to Hank (one of the farm's owners) before, but had not met him. I only got to see Pamela in passing, as she was busy with volunteers in the field when I dropped by.

The share is smaller than what I'd seen at the other local CSA (one plastic grocery bag as opposed to two), but, it's early in the season, and I saw a lot more growing.

In today's bag:

- a big bunch of basil
- around a pound of green beans
- mizuna
- turnips with greens
- beets with greens
- 1 head of lettuce
- bunch of lacuna kale
- bunch of arugula
- one head bok choi

I'm thinking of turning the turnips and bok choi into kimchi, and maybe also making refrigerator pickles with the green beans. The lettuce, arugula and mizuna will go in salads, and the rest of the greens into a big batch of soup.

Too lazy to take pics right now, but maybe I'll pull them out later for photo time.

Grrr... Bad Kitty!

2008-10-23T14:55:00Z

There's a large shrub right outside my window where the blue jays like to hang out. They squabble sometimes, but it's usually over in a minute or less.

So, when I heard the jays all screaming at once, and then the squirrels joining in, I peeked out to see what was going on.

My cat was out there being dive bombed by the jays, and had a smaller bird in her mouth.

I rushed around the side of the house, and startled her into dropping it. When the bird flew up onto the fence, I saw that it was one of the red-bellied woodpeckers (which actually have a white belly and a red spot on their head, go figure) that hang out in the oak tree in my back yard. The woodpecker appears unharmed, and is now calmly pecking in the tree, but sticking to the higher branches.

Jays are still going nuts, though.

This is what I'm doing instead of working.

2008-10-22T19:25:06Z

Your result for The Famous (and Not So Famous) Art Quiz...

Art History Major

97% Artiste!

Art History Major: You scored 97% Artiste!

You've studied art for years, and therefore you recognized almost if not all the works represented here. Way to go!

Take The Famous (and Not So Famous) Art Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Claude Rains was the Invisible Man...

2008-10-10T16:07:06Z

Anybody up for Movies in Pioneer Park tonight?

Dunedin's free outdoor movies have started up again, and tonight is The Invisible Man. Not sure what next week's pic is, but October 24th is The Wizard of Oz.

I go with the kids pretty much every time they do this, and we always have a good time.

If you're in the area, please swing by and pull up a blanket. I'll be there with my girlies and a big bag of homemade kettle corn.

Hey, Tampa/St. Pete Area local folks!!

2008-08-28T20:52:27Z

Tomorrow night from 5pm to 8pm is S'Real Friday Happy Hour at the Dali Museum:

A summer staple, S’Real Fridays at the Dalí Museum are an inspiring combination of music, art and libation. See Women: Dalí’s View, and hear Urban Gypsies’ innovative combinations of African, Caribbean, Latino, European, and American genres in a café setting, view unusual silent films, and enjoy a complementary nacho cheese fountain and cash bar.

I plan to be there, and I am dragging a couple of local folks along.

If you can, please come out!

Help out some recently evicted kitties?

2008-07-28T21:40:49Z

empressjad, who does animal rescue, posted this on her LiveJournal on behalf of another rescuer that just lost her location:

This is looking to be a *bad* week. We got an email regarding a woman (Jane) who had been renting a small farm for the past seven years. Her landlord was very happy with her, as she was making improvements to the property...putting up fencing, repairing outbuildings, replacing gutters, etc,...and told her she could live the rest of her life if she wanted to do so. Well, that's exactly what she had planned to do. She took in all kinds of abused, neglected, abandoned, and injured animals. Paid for the their care by herself. Found homes for as many as possible as they became adoptable.
Fast forward to June 26th. Her landlord goes into a nursing home and dies. His daughter shows up and tells Jane that they're "thinking about selling the place", and she just wanted to give her a "heads up". She comes back on July 1st, says the place has been sold, for cash, and the new owner is moving in August 2nd. That means ALL the animals have to be relocated in 30 days. She places as many as she can, panicking because the new owner doesn't want the animals around, so she can't buy any extra time at all. This poor lady hasn't been able to find a place for herself yet, as she's so worried about placing her innocent animals.
Finally, we get involved. All the horses have been placed, as well as the dogs and goats. Even the peacocks and his hens have a new home. Now we come to the cats. There are about 30 of them, which I know sounds like a lot, but when you have five barns and various outbuildings, it really isn't. She had been having the spayed/neutered as she could. All six of her housecats had been fixed, but the others were "drop-offs". If you've ever lived in the country, you know what that is. People who no longer want their pet, for whatever reason, drive up to the gate of a farm, and drop off the pet, assuming the farm will take care of it. They usually do...if they find it. Many pets run off, terrified, rather than walking up the drive and ask to live there.... Anyway, Jane has been fixing these cats, too, as she finds them and can afford to.
The problem is, being spring/summer, there is an abundance of cats/kittens being dumped. We found foster homes for all the cats that are fixed. There were 15 that weren't. We managed to scrape together the money for 9 of them, and found a vet that would give a great deal, under the circumstances. That leaves six. If they can't be fixed, the choice is to be left behind, or be euthanized. All over lack of money, because we have a placement for them if we can get the money to fix them. We have until Thursday. The 31st.
I'm going downtown today to see if I can get some of the business owners to donate something, but I'm not real hopeful there. I've called everyone I can think of for donations and have a few promises. And now we're begging you, the people reading this LJ. Can you spare anything, even just $5? It will add up. The two males will cost us $40 each, and the three females just $70 each, so we need just $290 to save them. Under $300 to save five lives!!!!!
If I can get the money in Paypal, I can call the vet and tell him the check is on the way and he'll take my word for it and do the procedures, and the kitties will have a place to go...
Paypal is...
empressjad@aol.com
Please help.

Please help out a bit if you can, or pass the word along if you can't donate $$$.

A visitor, again.

2008-07-17T20:51:29Z

I forgot to post these the other day.

The cat's buddy wandered by again. Didn't try to invite himself into the house; they just stared at each other through the glass.

The Big Read - stolen from everywhere.

2008-06-27T15:44:40Z

When reposting, please link to http://www.neabigread.org/ ]
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE, and strikeout the books you read but didn't like.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read only 6 or less and make them read.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. ~~Great Expectations - Charles Dickens~~

11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. ~~Catch 22 - Joseph Heller~~
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare (well, most of them)
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. ~~The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald~~ (I keep trying, but can never get through the first chapter)
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh .
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck (I love Steinbeck, but this book is not my favorite of his.)
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen .
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. ~~Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden~~ (Very disappointing. I felt the author cheated to give a feel-good ending.)
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan .
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac .
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy (I've never read any Thomas Hardy, but, I have to say, he has the world's best titles.)
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. ~~Moby Dick - Herman Melville -~~ I've tried, can't get interested.
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry .
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. ~~The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks~~ Horrible, horrible, horrible. Couldn't finish it.
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. ~~A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole~~ Couldn't finish it. I didn't find the characters funny, I found them ugly and abrasive.
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare (Shouldn't this be included in "complete works"?)
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

PSA: Not the droids you're looking for

2008-06-23T15:33:30Z

This is a message to all friends, family members and current and potential future clients who google my full name.

The person with my name who writes Hannah Montana fan-fic (including a disturbing amount of Billy Ray Cyrus slash) is not me. Repeat: I am not the writer of the Hannah Montana fan-fic.

Thank you for your attention in this perplexing and troubling matter.

Hey, Universe.

2008-06-21T17:29:54Z

When I wake up screaming from a nightmare about floods, and can't shake my uneasiness all morning, it does not help when it starts pouring rain as soon as I leave the house.

Cut it the fuck out.

Random Update

2008-06-20T02:11:57Z

I love the park by my house. Today from the boardwalk over the salt marsh, I got to watch dozens of fiddler crabs engage in all kinds of mating displays. The males get pretty aggressive with one another. I'll have to bring the kids and the camera there tomorrow evening to see them.

Foraged about a dozen cookbooks out of a curbside pile this afternoon, including one devoted exclusively to curries. Can't wait to start making my way through it.

Elderberries are starting to ripen. I got a good handful this afternoon that went straight into the freezer. When I've collected a couple of pounds, going to try my hand at some elderberry jam.

My cat (did I mention that I've been adopted by a stray cat?) has made friends with a local raccoon. Mostly, they look at each other through the glass when the raccoon comes onto the screened in porch. However, the day we got back from our trip, I was airing out the house and fell asleep with the sliding glass door in the kitchen open. Simon went into the kitchen, and found the cat and raccoon eating together out of my cat's dish, with the cat purring loudly.

I don't mind sharing my yard with wildlife, but, I do draw the line at sharing my kitchen. I've been a lot more conscientious about pegging that door closed, as I've watched the raccoon and he (?) seems to be pretty close to figuring out how to open the glass door on his own.

However, the raccoon has not been around at all since I got Simon to pee in the backyard. (Basically, larger male animal marks territory, smaller animal stays away.) Seems that trick actually worked.

I need to find some curtains for the the kitchen, as we finally have neighbors behind us. The fence blocks us off pretty well -- I can see just the tops of their heads in their livingroom, and I'm pretty sure their view is the same -- but, I'll feel a lot more comfy walking around the house naked when I'm not watching the tops of my neighbors' heads.

Meme: stolen from docbrite

2008-04-18T21:14:24Z

Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?

Yes.

Are you dating the last person you kissed?

Why yes, we go out on many dates.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?

Absolutely.

Are you too forgiving?

Eh, sometimes.

Olive Garden?

No, thank you.

Would you live with someone before marrying them?

Would be strange if I didn't.

Have your friends ever seen you cry?

More times than I'd like.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Simon.

If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?

See above.

What's irritating you right now?

Still can't find places for all my stuff in the new place.

What did you do yesterday and with who?

Sat home with a kid with stomach flu. (She's better today.)

Who's the last person that you felt stalked by?

Not worth mentioning here.

What are you stressed out about?

How I'm going to get $400 for the CSA by June, $300 for summer camp by, um, tomorrow, and $600 for airplane tickets before summer vacation.

Last text message you received?

"Do u have a boiling water canner?" Sadly, I do not.

What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping.

Last place you went?

Quick Nicks. Awesome little convenience store that has Naked Juices, my fancy clove cigarettes and really good beers.

Do you talk in your sleep?

Rarely.

When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Just a few minutes ago, as Simon left for his second shift.

What are you looking forward to?

Picnic at Fort Desoto this weekend.

Ever been a bridesmaid or groomsmen?

Nope.

Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed?

Simon and I both are inside-of-the-bed people, so we sort of switch off.

How often do you talk on the phone?

Many times a day.

Do you believe in love?

What sort of question is that?

How much cash do you have on you?

Wow, six bucks! Where did that come from?

What is your favorite ringtone on your phone?

Anything that is easily audible but not annoying.

Can you handle the truth?

I like to think so, but that's probably not always true.

Best breakup song?

Dumping: "Sleep to Dream" by Fiona Apple
Dumped: The Pretenders cover of "Creep"

Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?

Yeah

When was the last time you were given roses?

Simon, a couple weeks ago, just because.

What do you want this year?

A pressure canner.

Do you prefer to call or text?

I hate texting. Phone to talk, email for information.

What month is your birthday in?

September.

How many cities/towns have you lived in?

Eleven.

What are you doing for your next birthday?

No idea, as it is months away.

Do you know how to drive a stick shift?

The gods don't want me to learn.

What jewelry are you wearing?

Two rings: silver moon, and one with silver and amber.

Who gave you the jewelry you are wearing now?

Simon.

How often do you remember your dreams?

Just about daily. Last night, it involved being on this really ornate cruise ship with weird alien things.

What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Go wake the girls up.

How long is your hair?

Just past my shoulders.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

Making coffee.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Cuddling with Simon on the back porch & drinking a beer.

How do you feel about the person who texted you last?

One of my best friends.

Do you like your life as of now?

Yeah, I like it a lot.

Last thing you purchased?

Groceries.

Three words to explain why you last threw up?

Too much wine.

How's your heart lately?

Doing its job quite nicely, thanks.

Where did your last non-family hug take place?

Eddie's.

Who was the last person to hold your hand?

Jenna.

Are you a jealous person?

Sometimes, but I try not to be.

Did you have a good birthday this year?

Not really.

Are you tired right now?

No. I slept hard last night.

Do you chew on your straws?

Sometimes.

Three days from now will you be in a relationship?

Yes.

Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex you loved them?

Yes.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you because of something you didn't even do?

A couple.

As of today, do you fancy anyone?

Definitely.

Have you kissed anyone on the lips today?

Yes.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Once or twice.

Last person you cried over?

A person? Can't remember.

Do you cry easily?

Not usually.

What should you be doing right now?

Figuring out why 1and1 isn't showing the updates on my friend's website.

Are you a heavy sleeper?

Sometimes.

Bountiful Day

2008-04-09T23:36:08Z

This has been a super fantastic, productive day with lots of good stuff happening:

- Charles gave me two big bags of produce from the organic farm where he works.

- I spent a good part of the day preserving said produce. I don't have a canner yet, so, I made two batches of soup for the freezer (Mean Green & sort of a tex-mex-ish vegetable). I also made two batches of kimchee, one with kohlrabi and one with bok choi. First time making kimchee, so, will have to see how those turn out. I generally followed this recipe. The bok choi turned out to be only a half-pint batch. A head of bok choi shrinks way more than I imagined it would after salting. Last bit of preserving is some broccoli that I threw in the dehydrator. I still have lettuce, two kinds of kale and some fennel, which we'll probably eat fresh this week.

- I finally found the (apparently discontinued) wallpaper border I've been looking for for my bathroom! The bathroom is yellow, which is not exactly one of my favorite colors. I've decided to tone it down a bit by adding blue shower curtain, blue wall art & a blue rug. The last touch I wanted to add was a sun, moon and stars wallpaper border with a blue background that I'd gotten a sample of years ago. I've had no luck finding it in stores, though. But, today, I found four unopened rolls at a garage sale. I bought them all, even though I probably won't even use all of one in the bathroom. Girls' room, maybe?

- We found a few other great things at the same garage sale. I picked up some more flower pots and a rug for the hallway. Simon got a really neat looking old military cabinet -- looks like it originally stored guns -- that he put on the screened-in porch to hold various outdoor stuff.

- In between messing around in the kitchen, Jenna and I worked on the garden a bit. Some of the basil went to seed again, so I was able to shake out an envelope of seeds for a friend of mine who asked for some. Jenna's been asking me for pea shoots ever since she tried them at The Wine Cellar, so I planted one of the oblong pots with a bunch of peas for her. I still need to get to the health food store to get the peas intended for sprouting, as you get a lot more for your money than you do in a small seed packet. I also finally got the malabar spinach transplanted to the hanging planter. It's been looking a little sad; hopefully more space and a sunnier location will get it producing. We wanted to plant some cherry tomatoes for another hanging pot, but I couldn't find the seeds. They finally turned up in my office after she left for dinner at grandma's. I'll have to pull those out tomorrow so we can plant them.